Day Seven

Day seven was full of interesting revelations.

Firstly, Mr. X's little sister is like 16 (we will call her Miss). Miss and I have been talking on fb im since I met her a few months into the relationship and through that we have become really good friends. It made the breakup so much harder that I might not be able to be friends with her anymore. Miss fb imed me "hey so um like can we still be friends?". Broke my heart. I told her that I would love to, but that she would have to ask Mr. X. I think that's fair. Luckily he told her it was okay so I am happy about that.

Secondly, I know this is so lame but I was looking at old notes Mr. Y had written me. I realized that I date the same type of people. On the surface Mr. X and Mr. Y are completely different people, but deep down after months of dating THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON. They both fell completely in love with me, acted like douchebags, appologized by saying that they love me more than anything, held on as hard as they could when I was ready to leave, and then when I was really invested left me for another step in their life. Great. I am glad that I have made so much progress over three years.

Thirdly, I went to this bar that is popular with my college and got totally hammered. Texted Mr. Y saying that "This place is the place to be on thursdays". UGH. I then shamelessly flirted with one of my guy friend's older brothers. In the middle of the flirting I was even thinking "O this is shameless". Sad, I know. Then this girl came up to talk to him and so I just walked outside. I didn't want to be the annoying girl standing alone at the bar. Just as I am standing there ashamed of myself, he walks outside and turns to me and says "Where did you go?!". Hook line and sinker. :) . We then talked some more and then shamelessly made out the rest of the night. He got my number and texted me a bit the rest of the night. It is just weird that his little brother's house is like my second home. Hmmmm.

Fourthly, I know that this is stupid to complain about, but recently I have had no appetite. Eating a bite of food makes me want to puke. I have lost about 8 lbs in two weeks, which is not healthy. Emotionally, I am pretty fine with being single, happy even, but physically my body is screaming "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!". Yesterday all I had were three mini Ralphs cupcakes and a handful of pasta. I wasn't lying, emotionally I am really happy. Yes, the mornings still stink, but I have never really been just single. I have always been in a relationship or looking for another one since I was 11. It is kind of sad. I am happy to just be alone and not looking for anything. Ideally, Mr. X wouldn't hook up with anyone else and in two years we could just step back into our relationship, but I realize that it isn't realistic. I am just going to enjoy my early 20s and get to know myself.

Fifthly?... I have a pending date. Assuming that bar boy doesn't call me for a date, my first date will be with this guy from home. I am going home in two weeks and it is all very complicated how I got this date, but he was a senior at my high school when I was a freshman. Very scandalous. I always thought that he was so hott in high school so it is perfect. He is tall and muscular and we have only had one date 2 years ago and we did not even kiss so we will see what happens. It is perfect though cause he lives at home, not here so it can't go anywhere and on top of that, I will be staying at home so there is no pressure to go really far sexually. I am pretty excited.