Day Ten

I am too tired to go to ballet class today. I am just going to ask how I can make it up. I am instead working on the music I am going to put in my car.

On to the next one by Jay-Z and Swiss Beats
Meet me halfway by the Black Eyed Peas
Egypt, Egypt by Egyptian Lover
Boi! by Young Problemz and Mike Jones
Faded by Souldecision
Let me ride by Dr. Dre
Everything, everyday, everywhere by Fabolous
Tik tok by Ke$ha
Empire state of mind by Jay-Z and Alicia keys
Fresh by 6 Tre G
The reeling by Passion Pit
Sally, that girl by Gucci Crew
All I have by Jennifer Lopez and LL Cool J
Starstruck by 3Oh!3
Southern hospitality by Ludacris
Ugh Ugh Ugh by Juicy J
Fear by Drake
Becky by Plies
Different Girls by Nu Jerzey Devil
Still not a player by Joe/Big Pun
Freak-a-holic by Egyptian Lover
Radar by Britney Spears

I went to a friend's house last night and watched the movie Camille. It is a really good movie, but kind of hard to explain. In one scene of the movie you can just tell that the couple is really in love and it is quite sad and touching. I started almost shaking crying which was a bit embaressing. I just hope that some day a guy will love me that much. I think that I am going to substitute love in life with love in movies. The love in movies is just so much more beautiful and everlasting.

Mr. X is in the same city as I am at the moment. He lives like 6 hours away, but he is back to pick up stuff at his friend's house. Awkward.

I wish my closest friends lived closer. If they did I swear that I would practically be living in their room.

I've lost 2 more lbs. Let me just chart out for you my weight loss. I am pretty small boned, but tall (5'7' 1/2''). When I was younger I used to weight about 110 lbs. I was made fun of alot for it and told that I was ugly cause I was too bony so when I got a bit older I ate whether or not I was hungry, constantly. I then got to 130 lbs. Freshman year of college I went down to 120 lbs, but gained it back after I got mono. Then when I met Mr. X and fell in love I ate everything, constantly. I would literally eat animal fries as a snack (if you dont know what that is look it up) everyday after we had sex. I was so in love and he was such a big boy (6'3'', 200 lbs) that I ate myself to 140 lbs. When he moved away at the end of the school year I decided that I was going to become fit if it killed me so I worked out like crazy. I got all the way to 125 lbs within 3 months. I'm pretty proud of myself for that because I seriously earned it. Now within the past two weeks I have lost 6 more lbs. I don't work out anymore and I don't think that I am just losing muscle. The jeans I bought a few weeks ago are falling off of me. It is seriously just because I can't bear to eat. I am eating just to survive at this point. I am not going to lie, even though it sucks to not be able to stomach any food whatsoever, it is kind of comforting to know that I am more fit looking than Mr. X for the first time probably ever. I am at the age when all of my friends are dieting or working out and obsessing about weight so they have asked me what I have been doing to lose so much weight. I've been on the breakup diet. How does the breakup diet work you ask? STEP 1: fall madly in love with someone, STEP 2: have them break your heart, STEP 3: fit back into your skinny jeans or even be too skinny for your skinny jeans. I am now at 119 lbs, a weight that I wish I had accomplished with hard work and excersize, but accomplished instead by having a broken heart. At least now I don't get as depressed when I go shopping; this weight loss is eating up my credit card.